Its been a loooooonnnnnnnngggggggggg time, since I last wrote. Writers' block, sheer laziness, lack of interesting things to write about, all these and more.. Not that it really matters. The new thought I am struggling with "how much of what seems to matter a lot really matters in the long run" But that apart. I have been blamed to often the past 2 months of being a cynic. A lot of it is because I like to keep blabbering that I am a cynic :) Sounds kinda cool...I dont give a damn kinds.. and thats making me wonder. Was I meant to be an optimist and am now turning into a cynic, only because I keep telling myself so.. If you have already lost interest, whoever u are..come back in a few days...this is stuff after a long break..I promise to get better with the next series of posts, and I promise to post more... and I am sure u will be back.. cos if u read this, you havent given up on me..And that proves am not a cynic :)
Back from my meanderings.. is cynicism that bad... btw, it comes from the Greek word kino meaning dog. That should make it bad enough :)
So optimism is the flavour of the reason. I believe I can fly..I believe I can write much better than this :)
till I get sth to talk about......

Simple or Complicated

How complex should life be, or how simple for that matter. Do we all cherish simplicity, or are we all running towards a mirage, in the process complicating what we already have. A new dimensions always brings a higher level of complexity and who's to say, "I don't like that". Something new, something different, something not mundane, isn't that the race all of us are trying to win. The race to do new things, make new things happen, maybe visit new places, experience different stuff, and isn't that changing us in the process. Making us more complex, not just our lives. I am a simple person, all I want to do is enjoy every moment of my existence. Simple enough, aint it...:)

Calvin: I am a simple man, Hobbes
Hobbes: You?? Yesterday you wanted a nuclear powered car that could turn into a jet with laser-guided heat-seeking missiles!
Calvin: I’m a simple man with complex tastes

Dreams

Dreams- things that seemed possible when you were young, and which then tasted reality. Not many stand the test of time, and in some cases, none do. Is our life forever guided by these changes is the question. And the answer is what we are all looking for.
Its so difficult to write at times. How I long for the days when words flow naturally, and thoughts stumble over each other to catch attention. Someone was telling me some days back that all great authors are gifted. Thats the good life. You do something which is effortless and you get paid for it. But is it. I might not write well but I can well associate with the frustrations that come when you just cant. But then we all live for the days that we can. And they are what make life what is is meant to be.
Is that the way a cynic would think....
Wonderingly yours

ISB Ranks in Top 20 Global B-Schools

ISB began as a dream. A dream whose time had come. And today the dream is reality. Hats off to all those people who put their faith in their dream, and are now in enviable position of seeing it lived in their own time. With that being said, the time is now. Our time has come. It is official. ISB is ranked 20 in the Top B-Schools of the world by Financial Times.
As we do India proud, being the only Indian school in the rankings and the youngest ever to make it to the top 20, that too the first time it participated in the rankings, all the critics stand silenced. ISB was always a global school, and today, we can truly say that.

Let the celebrations begin, or rather, continue :)

http://rankings.ft.com/global-mba-rankings

http://www.ndtv.com/convergence/ndtv/videopod/default.aspx?id=22830

Blooker material?

Theres been a long time since I have been looking for some motivation to blog again. And recently, I read about the concept of "blooker". A blooker being a book which is inspired by a blog. It seems publishers are reading blogs and deciding to publish them in a book version. Since it has been my long cherised dream to write a book, this could be a mode to get there. I can almost see you smirking. Ya, right. I know this blog is not the quality they would print in a book. But well this is warm up (yet again), before I start writing seriously:).
Do i really want to get serious though, surreal is what my mood is nowadays.
And suddenly the thoughts stop, as suddenly as they had started. Relentless, torturous, overpowering, phenomenal, to not let go ever....
Let there be more when there is a better day, the time is not now, let us wait for the right time....

Term 6.

We are already in Term 6 and life has become so predictable, yet so unpredictable. Until and unless you have a deadline tomorrow, no work gets done. And if you dont have a deadline for tomorrow, you feel wierd. Its like there has to be something to be done everyday. How can you have time for yourself. I am being considered lucky since I dont have any submission due tomorrow. Unluckily, I have 5 coming up on Monday, but guess what, I am still not doing any. It would be sacrilege to touch it before Sunday. Much like unsuspecting people thinking I have gone crazy when I said I have finished one assignment 24 hours before the deadline.
Comfortably numb, as some friend's Gtalk line read. Life seems to have a pace of its own, with you not having to interfere. As the topic of the blog only reads. How much more uncreative and unimaginative could it have got, you wonder. Or do you.
Just a blip in your entire existence, as our LSCM professor says. I seriously wonder how many of these blips I will even remember ten years down the line. Things which command so much share of mind right now, how important will they actually be some day. And for that matter, how important are they right now.
And as the Consumer behaviour class ended today, I realised we are already halfway done through this term too. Its like a fast paced giant wheel, what with all the ups and downs life brings here. And as I get ready to face another one, unpredictably so, its time to sign off.......:)
Predictably yours
Madhur

As good a time as ever

2 in the night, a day before an exam, is as good a time as any to start re-blogging. What do u call a three month break- a sabbatical, a reality check or an imagination trip? Where does the line between imagination and reality actually blur, and where do the demarcations end?
As I try to focus on the task at hand, try really hard and yet not succeed :), I wonder what tomorrow holds, and the day after that. And thats it I have stopped wanting to know beyond that. There was a time when i used to fantasise about life, about the future, and not live in the present. The present always seemed like a wrong time to live. The future was always more alluring, being the unknown. Ever wondered what it is about what u dont know, the sense of adventure, the mystery, the sweet smell of secret, its a potent package altogether. And suddenly its not. Or is there a small voice at the back of my head that still wants to know but does not want to admit.
Do we all actually live honest lives? Dont we always lie about whats important and what matters and why we do what we do? Why is it so difficult to state the reality and accept it? Are we scared of coming across as vulnerable and is imagination a good enough shield? When does the like about reality and pretence taper off? And when do we accept the wall we build?
Is now as good a time as ever to start studying, or am I better off still wondering

contempatingly yours
@ISB

Survival of the fittest or ????

I am staring at the watch as I type. With two exams down and one due tomorrow, we have almost finished the end term. You would ask why this sudden urgency to write now when my last post was more than 3 weeks. why cant I wait for tomorrow to be able to write quality and not just spew a mixture of thoughts on the screen and stop torturing my readers with half baked ideas and stories. As I walked out of the paper and comtemplated how I had done, my first thought was how others had done. Game theory the call it right. Life has become that only. Everything is ranked basis the average. What was the average, am I above, it, if yes, how much above, if below, how much below. All grades are relative. So the fight to survive, to be the best. If someone were to come and tell me people found the paper tough, that would give me more pleasure than the fact that I did a good paper. Its sad. You wish everyone but your close friends have ----ed it. You wish mediocrity on others to ensure you come out as better. Its all relative. Makes me miss college and school, where everyone was happy that everyone scored. Are the resources that short that we need to apportion. the production frontier, have we reached that? Adn then again, why do we all want the same things, which are not enough in number. are we all runnning after a mirage and losing our identities in the process. Would one grade more or less matter any which way in the future, or for that matter, even today. Are grades any measure of intelligence or competence in any case. Its convenient to decide the world in above and below average, but is it right. Does it make any sense whatsoever.
:)
Contemplatingly yours

Wide AWAKE

0630 in the morning. Cant believe I was awake the whole night finishing an assignment, and I am still not sleepy. This inspite of living on 4-5 hours of sleep for the past 3 days, due to a mid term exam. Strange. Life changes, people change, even habits change. I would never have thought I could survive on anything less than 8 hours of sleep. Sleep, such a precious commodity at ISB. U want to do so much more, that sleep feels like a waste of time. Actually.
Term 3 is the killer, I had heard from seniors. It feels very much true. What with assignments every 2 days, bidding for live industry projects, and so many other things coming up, it actually is difficult to survivie. Sometimes I wonder what world I am living in, what life and whats beyond this. And what was before this. I miss my past life a lot here, like I will ISB a lot when I pass out.
What more and what less and what else and what not...:)

Wonderingly yours

Another month gone

More than a month and not even a single entry..Can believe myself. My scientist friends must be disappointed. But then how would I know. Its been a long time since I spoke to any of them. ISB is like a whole new world. Almost like you are on an island with this the only population. Many a times you forget there is a world out there. What with so much happening all around, another term is about to come to an end. And if we thought Term 1 was difficult, it seems like paradise now. We used to have weekends then, without classes and in fact one without assignments also. Now, when I walk into a class and someone asks me "how was the weekend", my reply is like, "What weekend?". A GLEC class, an extra Comp Strat session, a special Mark Strat conjoint lecture, 4 hours of Mandarin, one DMOP case assignment, is that what you call a weekend?
We are finally done with Mark Strat- the marketing strategy game that tested our abilities to work in teams to the limit. With submissions due every 3-4 days, you were spending loads of time with your group. and if u didnt like any of the members, they were immense long hours......For the uninitiated, Mark Strat is a game played at leading B-Schools around the world, to teach you Marketing Strategy first hand. Its only when you burn your fingers do u make a good cook, as per our professors. Well, my food is still burnt, with no takers :)
The game is interesting, very interesting and very arresting. I didnt sleep the night we did really really bad(for the lack of a better word).!!!!! and whats more, I even got up at 7 :). It evokes interest, tests your logic, makes your wonder, makes you want to believe in magic, and in the invisible hand(stealing a macro economic concept here). It all balances, sometimes by logic, sometimes by luck??? Sometimes by a whole lot of analysis..It was a part of your life.. the every third day big question,"So how much did your firm make?" And the sighs and the joys associated with them. Its amazing how such a small thing can occupy such big mindspace, time space and all other kinds of space, pushing everything else important into the background.....
I didnt blog for over a month, and whats more, didnt even think about doing it in a long time....
And now, exams in a week and yet another term will come to an end. The roller coaster ride is gaining speed, and I can barely hold on. The fear of fallinf off is magnifying. And so is the hope of staying on.
Hope, eternal Hope.....:)

Exams galore

Was speaking to a friend day before and he requested me to blog about life at ISB. People outside here are so curious to learn what goes on inside. as if we are guinea pigs being expiremented upon:) Not that I am complaining, I am still blogging right. Well, time has flown past like it always does. I never realised when two years in Greece ended, and this is a one year, jam packed MBA course. While we bid adieu to all the professors we have known for such a short period, and realised the term has ended, simultaneously, all brains were estimating, how much more do I need to put in for Statistics. Will I manage to make a B in economics? And the more ambitious amongst us, I am already within the A+ bracket, how much more do oil do I need to burn. Come exams and the popular hotspots change from CCDay to the library. People start talking in hushed voices on the phone, the rush for study rooms increases. 2 in the morning becomes the normal time to go for a walk. and you see lights on till 4. So much to do in so little time. The pressure is immense. And its not only studies. There were the elections today. The ISB Radio has started. Club meetings are happening. So much and so much more. I wonder if a guinea pig would have survived. Well, we are...So on that note, till the exams....Signing off .
RJ Madhur

Its 1 in the night...

...and I am wide awake. As my friends keep asking me how many hours I am averaging in sleep every night, I keep getting more anxious. My beauty sleep is something I am going to hate missing out on. The process has started already. For someone who would remain grumpy if she had anything less than 8 hours of sleep, I am learning to manage beautifully in 6. And I am told it gets much worse. 4 would be an ideal number, and thats my target. Anything less and I would collapse.
The first assignments have been turned in and the grades are out. Its a common occurence to see people working around the campus till late in the night, discussing, analysing, rediscussing, re-analysing. It doesnt get tougher than this. Arriving at a consensus in your group of 4 or 5. All bright people, raring to make their mark, all achievers in their own right. And all striving to become tomorrow's leaders. Pre- reads before the class starts, post-reads to understand what the prof really meant. Read ups, study group sessions, meetings, all in an effort to understand where we are heading with these subjects. Yet floundering. Getting used to burning the midnight oil all over again. While wondering why we are really here.....
One year is too short..or too long/????////
I wonder which one it is going to be......

A new poem

A new day, a new dawn
a new muse, a new path
Far from the crowd, yet a part
Not the best, yet striving to be
flowing with the river, yet fighting the current
Swept away, holding on to a log
How long though is the question
How well though matters the answer
What to achieve, what to choose
a beautiful life, a better hope
a higher need, a lower aim
the best days, the worst times

What a week

What a week it has been at ISB. Listening to the seniors, getting gyan from them, being humbled at times, feeling proud at others....Like they said, its the most humbling experiences of your life. Until you have heard from other people all that they have done, you cant put your achievements in perspective. But do your achievements actually carry no importance all alone. Do they really need to be weighed and compared against those of other people to make you feel proud of them?
There are things I have done in my life which I am reall y proud of, which might seem small to other people. Again there are things which I dont think really deserve a mention, and yet someone else might commend them. So its all a question of personal interest and desire. Society controls us to such an extent that we cant even view our achievements in solo. The person who comes first is commended, its not the competition only that matters, its winning.
Having said that, what also matters is your commitment and the passion to get a job done. The talent night at ISB was a case in point. With a range of awesome performances by people, all organised within a space of 2-3 days, it proved how coordination and teamwork is important and how much you can learn from it. People management is a difficult skill. But the results are worth the efforts it takes.

The much awaited- Life @ISB

And I am here at ISB..
Its been crazy since I boarded the flight from Delhi, and it promises to for the next one year......
From the registration on the first day, to getting oriented, to presentations, to treasure hunt around the 200+ acres campus......running from pillar to post, literally.......
For my ex-Maersk colleagues, its like the MISE program all over again, the only glitch being that I am paying for it this time......:)
Bondings, friendships, have formed in less than a week......Study groups you have to work in to gossip groups u want to work in.......all feel a part of your life like you had never imagined they would....
Life changes so fast....in a matter of three hours I was transported from a totally secure and comfortable career path into the unknown......And surprisingly, or not so, am enjoying it here.....
:)
Till later.....too tired to make any more sense here now......:)

Its not about winning,
Its about keeping the faith
Its not about catching the rainbows
its about dreaming more on
Its not about achieving,
its about keeping the thought alive
Its not about finding your drea
its about the courage to search
There are some things
you have to do in life
some others that you dont
Its not about living
but about being the way you want
There are vices we all do have,
grey areas, to none we reveall,
its not about those,
its about remaining the way you are.

There is no meaning and yet there is
in this piece of poetry, so profound
Its not about the purpose,
its about putting it down

Afresh

Lets start afresh
so simple to express
so tough to achieve
Can a slate ever be wiped clean
the slate of life in particular

What if life was like a blackboard
Every day a fresh start
from zilch to riches
no need to give up
no need to give in
Just to start afresh
every time, again
No mistakes, no repentance
No thinking, no pondering
A second chance, a third chance
as many as you wish.

You pick up a pen after so many years
and just wonder
is this what I want to do,
will I be able to, or
has it been too long
There is a slight hesitation
your hand trembles and you fear
only for a moment
yet the moment stretches on
and then suddenly
as suddenly as it had arisen
the doubts recede and you find
a calm confidence
as you resume what you always did
Such is with poetry
as it is with love.
Years pass and you forget,
what it was like,
the first awakening, the first kiss
and yet one day,
one day when you feel
it must have been another lifetime
deep down in your heart,
you can feel the stirrings of an old romance
and still shiver at the delicious thought
When you feel it cant happen again
that no, its been so long
and suddenly you can feel
the hunger in your heart
the desire in your arms
aching to plant a new future
the way you always planted dreams

There's something about the two
poetry and love
You can never grow too old for it
nor too rusty...

Never before

Never before had I tread that way
Nor let life run its muse
When suddenly the untoward happened
and my steps took
a mood of their own
Life became a challenge
or rather, the destination did
Never before had I seen so much
nor dreamt the beauty of it
But then the thoughts just came gushing by
Like a torrent of emotions uncontrolled
Everything just fit in
Like a jigsaw puzzle
with the pieces complete
In harmony and in tandem
The world seemed
Maybe it was me, my life,
or just my steps,
that had found the right direction......

Yet

A yawn and a sniffle
an eye closed, a push
to make it open

Beguiled and yet alive,
Betrayed yet willing to
take another chance

Been hated yet wanting
for love
Been rejected yet waiting
for acceptance.

Devoid of hope
yet wanting to risk again
So dejected
yet willing to go another mile

So old
yet so happy to see another day
So dead
yet so happy to be still alive.